Illusion
by Seraz
Summary: Songfics. Mostly Moiraine/Lan. More stories are under work. Read and Review...
1. Fairytale Gone Bad

Title: Fairytale Gone Bad  
Author: Seraz  
Rating: K+  
Pairing: Moiraine/Lan Nyneave/Lan  
A/N: My first songfic  
EDITED: Some grammar and minor flaws. I know it's been long since I wrote something. And that this was meant to be a oneshot.  
I'll keep writing songfics and put them up here. I am working on a few at the moment  
Summary: Lan's thoughts about Moiraine's death.

_This is the end you know  
Lady the plans we had went all wrong  
We ain't nothing but fight and shout and tears_

Moiraine, I can't believe you're gone.  
That I am standing here alone.  
I want to scream out loud:  
Show you my tears and hollow soul.  
You left me bleeding inside.  
I have nothing left to live for.

I feel you in my heart that you are alive.  
But in the same time I feel Myrelle's bond to me.  
I saw you fall through that thing.  
You should be dead, but deep  
in my heart I feel you.  
You can't leave me like this.

_We got to a point I can't stand  
I've had it to the limit; I can't be your man  
I ain't more than a minute away from walking_

I should have protected you.  
I should have had my mind and eyes on you.  
You're the one I love.  
I should have felt your emotions  
and thoughts.  
I never suspected this, never saw this coming.  
You shouldn't have died on my watch.

Light, I am from Malkier, I should have sensed  
the Dark coming.  
What kind of man am I, who can't protect a Lady?  
Sure steel don't bite on the Source, but I should  
have died with you.

I took an oath; we were going to go through  
everything together as one.

_We can't cry this pain away  
We can't find a need to stay  
I slowly realized there's nothing on our side_

My life has always been chaos.  
Before I met you I was leading men to their deaths.  
Waiting for my time to die.  
I never expected to live long.  
Then I met you and my life changed.  
I lost my dearest friend; the last man from Malkier.  
Except me, of course.  
I killed my other friend, who had turned to the Dark.

That was the first time I saw you afraid.  
I saw you hesitate, your warm soul and heart.  
You wished no harm to anyone.  
You wanted to protect everyone, save them from the Dark.  
I saw you fail, I saw you grieve.

We had both faced the death, and survived.  
We were wounded inside.  
Together we healed and become one.  
We were strong together.

_Out of my life, Out of my mind  
Out of the tears we can't deny  
We need to swallow all our pride  
And leave this mess behind  
__Out of my head, Out of my bed  
Out of the dreams we had, they're bad  
Tell them it's me who made you sad  
Tell them the fairytale gone bad_

I realize now that I have always loved you.  
The girl doesn't mean anything to me.  
I see now that she is a kid and you  
were a Lady.  
But it's too late, you're gone.  
I can't feel your inner anymore.

I will never loose my hope  
that you one day will return.  
But until then I will revenge you.  
I miss you more than I can describe.

Wherever you are I hope that you can feel  
my love for you.

_Another night and I bleed  
They all make mistake and so did we  
But we did something we can never turn back right_

I like the girl I admit that, but I  
love you Moiraine.  
But you won't come back, will you?

_Find a new one to fool  
Leave and don't look back. I won't follow  
We have nothing left. It's the end of our time_

I am considering proposing to the girl.  
She is after all a lot like you.  
I can see parts of you in her, which  
makes me want to hold her.  
She is you in an immature way.  
You were sophisticated and had style, a real Lady.  
Compared to you all women in the whole world are brats.

_We can't cry this pain away  
We can't find a need to stay  
There's no more rabbits in my hat to make things right_

I really wish I could do something, to bring you back to life.  
I want to hold you in my arms forever.  
In my heart I will always love you.  
Forever you will be my dream.  
Until my last breath you will be my Lady.  
You will be my hope and future.  
I will live to revenge you.

And if I get a son with Nynaeve,  
he will continue my revenge.  
I am sorry that I have married her,  
but I had no choice.  
She is too much like you.  
When I close my eyes, I pretend that it's  
you I hold in my arms, you I kiss.

My blood will flood through my son.  
He will feel my love for you and revenge you.  
I will teach him everything.  
With that mother he will become a male channeler.  
I will get him to Rand, whom will teach him how to weave.

I will win this war for you Moiraine,  
in one way or another.  
I will never give up my hope on your return.

I hope that you can feel my love and forgive me.  
My mind has been clouded and now when everything I crystal clear;  
I long for you.  
I want to hold you and kiss you.

I dream about you. I want you.  
I need you. I have never needed any woman, but now I want you.  
But you're not here, you will never come.  
I wish I could turn back time, and make everything alright.  
At least so I could tell you I love you.

Because I do, I love you like a madman.  
I wake up sweaty at night, remembering your face.  
How beautiful you were.

I have woken up.  
Everything is clear to me.  
Everything has a reason and my reason is you.

I love you Moiraine, you were and are my soul mate.  
I realize it now.  
To bad I was too late…

_Out of my life, Out of my mind  
Out of the tears we can't deny  
We need to swallow all our pride  
And leave this mess behind  
Out of my head, Out of my bed  
Out of the dreams we had, they're bad  
Tell them it's me who made you sad  
Tell them the fairytale gone bad_

**A/N: "Fairytale Gone Bad" by Sunrise Avenue**

_**This is the end you know  
Lady the plans we had went all wrong  
We ain't nothing but fight and shout and tears**_

_**We can't cry this pain away  
We can't find a need to stay  
I slowly realized there's nothing on our side**_

_**Out of my life, Out of my mind  
Out of the tears we can't deny  
We need to swallow all our pride  
And leave this mess behind  
Out of my head, Out of my bed  
Out of the dreams we had, they're bad  
Tell them it's me who made you sad  
Tell them the fairytale gone bad**_

_**Another night and I bleed  
They all make mistake and so did we  
But we did something we can never turn back right**_

_**Find a new one to fool  
Leave and don't look back. I won't follow  
We have nothing left. It's the end of our time**_

_**We can't cry this pain away  
We can't find a need to stay  
There's no more rabbits in my hat to make things right**_

_**Out of my life, Out of my mind  
Out of the tears we can't deny  
We need to swallow all our pride  
And leave this mess behind  
Out of my head, Out of my bed  
Out of the dreams we had, they're bad  
Tell them it's me who made you sad  
Tell them the fairytale gone bad**_


	2. I don't want to miss a thing

Title: I don't want to miss a thing  
Rating: K+  
Pairing: Moiraine/Lan  
A/N: I know it's been long since I wrote something. And that this was meant to be an oneshot. I'll keep writing songfics and put them up here. I know there are grammar mistakes, but i am doing my best to edit them. Lan POV.  
Summary: Lan is watching Moiraine sleep

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing  
Watch you smile when you are sleeping  
While you're far away dreaming  
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender  
I could stay lost in this moment forever  
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure_

I watch as your chest rise and fall, you're breathing heavily. You look calm, like there's no worry in the whole world. The fire sparkles in the night. I'm sitting wrapped up in my cloak, just watching you sleep. The night is silent, nothing is audible. I shiver and wrap my cloak closer around myself. It has been a long day; I can feel that you are exhausted. I watch as the shadows dances on your cheeks. I want to reach and touch you, caress you.

I love you, but we both have responsibility against the Light, against the world, against ourselves. Besides I don't think you feel the same way about me, as I do about you. I've watched you kiss other men; you haven't let a single feeling slip when I've kissed women. I sigh and watch as you roll over to your side.

_Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

I will always be by your side. I will die for you. I stretch my legs, it's getting colder. The sun is long gone and the moon has come up. I watch the stars, shining in the sky. Will the war ever end? Will we still be here when the fighting has subsided? Will I be by your side? Will you still be by my side?

I don't think we ever will be lovers. I love you; and I hope you love me, but I doubt you do. I feel whole when I am close to you. You would be surprised if you knew how many nights I've been awake just to watch you.

_Lying close to you feeling your heart beating  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming  
Wondering if it's me you're seeing  
Then I kiss your eyes  
And thank God we're together  
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever  
Forever and ever_

I would give anything to stay with you forever. Forget about the war, this cursed war. We're doomed to die in this war. There's no way we will win this. Even if we survive it will never be the two of us. No matter what happens you will never be mine.

I wish I was your husband, the one to hold you; the one to comfort you, and keep you safe. I know that it won't happen. We've been through too much. The fight has brought us close to each other. But all the horrible things we've seen, and done, are reminded when we look at each other.

_Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

I climb to my feet; slowly I approach you, careful not to wake you. I wonder what you are dreaming, you're smiling lightly. I hope that it's a nice dream, and maybe I'm in it? Probably not, but one can always hope. I brush aside a strand of hair from your eyes. My heart is throbbing more powerful at the sight of your beautiful features. I think my chest is going to explode!

_I don't want to miss one smile  
I don't want to miss one kiss  
I just want to be with you  
Right here with you, like this  
I just want to hold you close  
Feel your heart so close to mine  
And just stay here in this moment  
For all the rest of time_

We need to go on with our search, search for the Dragon Reborn. I would give anything for the time to stop. You and me together for eternity, I sigh, that will never happen. Not even the Dark Lord can stop the time, so far as I know. I prize every second I'm with you. And when you smile, it feels like it's the reason I live. To protect you and make sure you can smile.

_Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

I sit next to you, watching you. You look peaceful. I love you. I want to take care of you, protect you. I will always be here for you; it's an honor to serve you. I would be the happiest man in this world, if you loved me. But I am satisfied just to be close to you, I want to see you happy and safe. If I can't make you happy, I will at least keep you safe. I swear, you will never get hurt as long as I still breathe.

_I don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss one thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
_

_I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

I lean forward and kiss your forehead before whispering in your ear:  
'I love you Moiraine, I will always do. I am going to protect you against the Dark'  
I watch as your smile broaden in your sleep, and my heart skips a beat.

_Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

**A/N: "I don't want to miss a thing" by Aerosmith**

_**I could stay awake just to hear you breathing  
Watch you smile when you are sleeping  
While you're far away dreaming  
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender  
I could stay lost in this moment forever  
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure**_

_**Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing**_

_**Lying close to you feeling your heart beating  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming  
Wondering if it's me you're seeing  
Then I kiss your eyes  
And thank God we're together  
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever  
Forever and ever**_

_**Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing**_

_**I don't want to miss one smile  
I don't want to miss one kiss  
I just want to be with you  
Right here with you, like this  
I just want to hold you close  
Feel your heart so close to mine  
And just stay here in this moment  
For all the rest of time**_

__

_**Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing**_

_**I don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss one thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing**_

_**Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
And I don't want to miss a thing**_


	3. Keep Holding On

Title: Keep Holding On  
Rating: K+  
Pairing: Moiraine/Lan  
A/N: Moiraine POV  
Summary: Moiraine and Lan are having a conversation after a rough day.

_You're not alone  
Together we stand  
I'll be by your side  
You know I'll take your hand_

"Moiraine, are you feeling alright?" I turn around when I hear Lan's voice behind me. I meet his intense blue eyes. I nod slightly.  
"Yes, Lan. I am a little tired, that's all" I manage to smile weakly at him.  
"You don't look so good" he says while he's approaching slowly. I snarl at him.  
"Light Lan, you really know what to tell a woman to make her feel better, don't you?" I tell him, but he ignores my sarcastic tone. Lan stands right in front of me now.  
"Well, I am pretty good with women" he gives me an impish grin, and I can't resist to snicker softly.

_When it gets cold  
And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go  
You know I won't give in_

"You really should get some rest, it has been a long day" Lan's voice suddenly serious and with a hint of concern in it.  
"Yes, I know that too. You worry too much Lan" I say as I place a hand on his shoulder, feeling his muscles tighten under my grip. I let him go with a surprised look on my face. I watch his eyes, they've turned steel gray. He looks sad.

_No I won't give in_

"What's wrong Lan?" I ask while searching his inner to find out what he's feeling. But I can't sense what's troubling him.  
"Will this never end?" His question catch me off guard.  
"Hopefully will the Light conquer soon" I say as I clap his back in a reassuring gesture, "And hopefully I'm there when it all ends too"  
"You won't die before me" Lan glares at me, "I promise I'll do anything to keep you safe until the last battle"

_Keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through  
Just stay strong  
Cause you know I'm here for you, here for you  
There's nothing you can say  
Nothing you can do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through_

I smile at his words, I know he'll stand by my side through water, wind and fire.  
"I know you feel that way Lan, but neither of us can guarantee anything" I tell him. He looks at me, watching me carefully.  
"You don't think we'll manage this?" His face is not revealing any feelings what so ever.

_So far away  
I wish you were here  
Before it's too late  
This could all disappear_

"Lan, I know we can survive and fight. But I don't think we can do miracles" I sigh. He nods in agreement.  
"Whatever happens I will be at your side, I swear" He draws his blade and knees in front of me. He kisses the sword hilt and looks up at me.  
"I know Lan, we're bond to each other. We share faith. We will die together" I reassure him. At least I hope we will be together forever.

_Before the doors close  
And it comes to an end  
With you by my side  
I will fight and defend_

Lan rise to his feet, pleased with my answer. I can feel him through our bond, we're closer together than any married man and woman can ever be. It's a blessing but also a curse, we can never hide anything from each other.  
"You ever thought of marriage?" I ask him. Lan looks surprised at me, I am surprised myself. '_Why did I ask him that?' _floats through my mind.  
"I've…" He clears his throat, "I thought I was getting married when I was younger"  
"Then I met you and my life got turned upside down" He continues, "I realized my life was 'is' united with yours"  
All I can do is nod, partly surprised he let his guard down and is telling me this.  
"Now all I can think of is whether we will survive to the last battle" He looks down at his feet, "And if we're still together"

_I'll fight and defend  
Yeah, yeah_

I peer at him trying to figure him out, '_What did he mean with 'together'?'_  
"We will go through it together, Lan" I take a step closer to him. We're now standing close to each other; I can almost hear his heart beat.  
"How about you? You ever thought about marriage?" He clears his throat and looks down at me. I can feel his breath on my face.  
"When I was younger I used to imagine myself as a Green sister with at least two warders. Both of whom I was married too" I snicker softly at the memory.  
"But that was when I was young, now I am old and no man would ever want me" I sigh.  
"You're not old!" Lan protests, "You're a beautiful and clever woman, powerful and sophisticated"  
I arch an eyebrow at him, and he coughs and takes a step back. I can see he is uncomfortable with the turn this conversation has taken. I can't read the feelings flowing through our bond.  
"Besides which man would want to marry an Aes Sedai?" I ponder, "I don't think any man could live with that"

_Keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through  
Just stay strong  
Cause you know I'm here for you, here for you  
There's nothing you can say  
Nothing you can do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth_

_So keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through_

"I could" Lan stated simply. I look at him, quietly. I can see a slight blush creeping on his neck. He coughs lightly.  
"I mean I am not intimidated by an Aes Sedai" He defends himself with.  
"Oh really? Got your eye on someone special?" I tease him while my heart is beating faster. He takes a step closer; we're now standing one foot from each other. He reaches out and places a finger on my chin. He tilts my head up so I now meet his gaze; his ice blue cold eyes, which can melt hearts and elude the Dark ones minions.  
He leans closer and whispers in my ear "Maybe I do". My heart is beating so fast and loud, that I am sure he can hear it. He smiles at me and plants a soft kiss on my cheek. He takes me in his arms and holds me tight. I lay my head against his chest, listening to his heart pounding steadily.

_Hear me when I say  
When I say I believe  
Nothing's gonna change  
Nothing's gonna change destine  
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly  
Yeah, yeah_

I am not in love with Lan, but I do love him. We've been together for many years now. We've shared success and defeats, but we've always survived. Together we will stand, strong and powerful. I know him, and he knows me. I feel safe in his embrace. I want to stay in his arms forever, but tomorrow will be a new day. With new battles to fight, but now at least I know we'll be together until the very end.

_Keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through  
Just stay strong  
Cause you know I'm here for you, here for you  
There's nothing you can say  
Nothing you can do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through_

_**A/N: "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne**_

_**You're not alone  
Together we stand  
I'll be by your side  
You know I'll take your hand**_

_**When it gets cold  
And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go  
You know I won't give in**_

___**No I won't give in**_

_**Keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through  
Just stay strong  
Cause you know I'm here for you, here for you  
There's nothing you can say  
Nothing you can do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through**_

_**So far away  
I wish you were here  
Before it's too late  
This could all disappear**_

_**Before the doors close  
And it comes to an end  
With you by my side  
I will fight and defend**_

_**I'll fight and defend  
Yeah, yeah**_

_**Keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through  
Just stay strong  
Cause you know I'm here for you, here for you  
There's nothing you can say  
Nothing you can do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through**_

_**Hear me when I say  
When I say I believe  
Nothing's gonna change  
Nothing's gonna change destine  
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly  
Yeah, yeah**_

_**Keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through  
Just stay strong  
Cause you know I'm here for you, here for you  
There's nothing you can say  
Nothing you can do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through**_


	4. Goodbye My Lover

Title: Goodbye My Lover  
Rating: K+  
Pairing: Lan/Moiraine  
Summary: Moiraine is dead, Lan is devastated. What will happen now?

Emptiness, emptiness is all I feel right now. I loved you from the first time I lay eyes on you. I found you beautiful. I never thought you'd like me in the same way that I liked you. After all we've been through together; you've left me in this cold world. Here I stand…alone, what will I do? I was supposed to die for you, with you. I was never meant to stand here without you by my side.

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun.  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care.  
You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you.  
I've kissed your lips and held your head.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you._

I love you. I miss you. Why didn't you tell me? I would have died with you as a happy man. I can never feel good without you. I've felt you inside of my head, my soul, for many years. I had forgotten how it felt to be alone. Now I stand here alone, waiting on my time to die. In death we will be together forever.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

No one can ever replace you in my heart, in my soul. I can never forget you, I will never forget you. I will soon be with you. I couldn't even bury your corpse; I have no grave to sorrow at. All I have are my memories. Memories of your beautiful face, of the time we had.

_I am a dreamer but when I wake.  
You can't break my spirit – it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me.__  
Remember us and all we used to be.  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for awhile.  
I'd been the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine.  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you._

I will seek the war. I will seek fight. I don't care what will happen to this world. It's empty without you. I have nothing to live for. You would have wanted me to look after the kids, for the Last Battle. But my heart feels empty. I never realized how much I loved you. I took you for granted, you would always be here. I've kissed you, shared your bed, but always with the knowledge you'd be by my side when I woke up. Now I wake up to an empty and cold bed every morning, if I even sleep in a bed.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

Why am I doomed to live and see the people I love die? My parents never lived so long; they died in the fight against the Dark. I wish I was dead too. I wish you were here with me. When I was with you I felt whole, invincible. I felt stronger, than I was on my own.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

Moiraine…

_And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bear my soul in time,  
When I am kneeling at your feet._

The only thing I regret in my life is that I never asked you to marry me. That I didn't tell you how much I loved you every day. That I truly regret. If I could live my life again, I'd never let go of you. If I could I would have taken you to a safe place and never let you out of my sight.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

I will miss you…but hopefully I will see you soon.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

I will always be faithful to you. When I die I will take as many trollocs with me as possible.

_I'm so hollow baby, I am so hollow  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow…_

Emptiness, soon. Soon I will be with you, and I will feel full again. We will be together and my heart will be whole again.

_**A/N: "Goodbye My Lover" by James Blunt**_

_**Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun.  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care.  
You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you.  
I've kissed your lips and held your head.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you.**_

_**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**_

_**I am a dreamer but when I wake.  
You can't break my spirit – it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me.  
Remember us and all we used to be.  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for awhile.  
I'd been the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine.  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you.**_

_**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**_

_**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**_

_**And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bear my soul in time,  
When I am kneeling at your feet.**_

_**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**_

_**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**_

_**I'm so hollow baby, I am so hollow  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow…**_


	5. I'll Take Everything

Title: I'll Take Everything  
Rating: K+  
A/N: This is set before Rand clean Saidin.  
Summary: Death…

_Oh these feet carry me far. Oh my body. Oh so tired.  
Mouth is dry. Hardly speak. Holy __Spirit rise in me.  
Here I swear, forever is just a minute to me._

So long ago, it feels like ages ago. An eternity, how can it just be a year? I miss my life and in the same time this is nice. I used to be a simple farmer. Living with my dad, it was all so easy. My only trouble was how to get some time alone with Egwene. I laugh out loud. My laugh echoes in the empty hall. I'm sitting here, on my throne. All alone, no one is here. None of my friends, Mat and Perrin where are you? I think I'm losing my sanity here. I slash the air with my sword. Why did I draw the blade? I cackle at this whole situation, will I save the world? Light I am afraid…

_I'll take everything in this life.  
I'll join everyone when I die._

Men whose names I don't even know are following me. Fighting for me, they'll die for me…and here I am, just sitting here. I am amused. Why is this situation funny? Now I remember, I make no sense and still people are following me to the death. They count on me. I have to keep up a mask of sanity. Like I know what I am doing, I will win. I will defeat the Dark and bring peace to this world. How will I do it? My friends aren't here. Moiraine is dead. Egwene and Nynaeve are gone. Lan is out there somewhere. Elayne, Min and Aviendha…how will I protect them? They're better off without me. I sheath my blade and lean back on the throne.

_Have my body. Have my mind.  
Have my coat. Take my time.  
These I borrow. Borrow so far.  
Turn to dust, Fall apart.  
Here I swear, __forever is just a minute to me._

I'm tired. When will this end? How will this end? Will we survive? I am not afraid of dying. I count on it. Wonder if I'll get rid of Lews Therin? Or will he still be in my head? I can feel him in the back of my head; I guess I am not making any sense to him, because he's quiet. Light, I am so mad not even Lews Therin will speak to me.

_I'll take everything in this life.  
I'll join everyone __'cause all men die.  
All men die, 'cause all men die.  
I'll take everything in this life.  
I'll join everyone since I'm gonna die.  
I'll take everything in this life.  
I'll join everyone 'cause all men die._

I'm tired, I want to sleep. I will sleep here. Just for an hour. Or as much as I can, before hell break loose. I'm just going to close my eyes for a few…

_**A/N: "I'll Take Everything" by James Blunt**_

_**Oh these feet carry me far. Oh my body. Oh so tired.  
Mouth is dry. Hardly speak. Holy **__**Spirit rise in me.  
Here I swear, forever is just a minute to me.**_

_**I'll take everything in this life.  
I'll join everyone when I die.**_

_**Have my body. Have my mind.  
Have my coat. Take my time.  
These I borrow. Borrow so far.  
Turn to dust, Fall apart.  
Here I swear, forever is just a minute to me.**_

_**I'll take everything in this life.  
I'll join everyone 'cause all men die.  
All men die, 'cause all men die.  
I'll take everything in this life.  
I'll join everyone since I'm gonna die.  
I'll take everything in this life.  
I'll join everyone 'cause all men die.**_


	6. Bed of Roses

Title: Bed of Roses  
Rating: K+  
Pairing: Lan/Moiraine  
Summary: Lan is lonely and goes and get drunk.

Lan entered the old and shabby tavern. He lunged himself in a chair close to the stage where a young dark-haired girl were getting ready to sing. He watched her stroke a strand of hair away from her face. The girl was short and very pretty; she had her back towards Lan. Then she turned around and looked up and met Lan's gaze, her eyes were dark. Lan drew a quick breathe, she resembled a lot of Moiraine. The girl opened her mouth and started to sing.

_Sitting here wasted and wounded  
At this old piano  
Trying hard to capture  
The mom__ent this morning I don't know_

Lan leaned in and listened carefully to the lyric. He had been drinking so much he couldn't tell what he was currently drinking.

'_Cause a bottle of vodka's  
Still lodged in my head  
And some blond gave me nightmares  
I think that she's still in my bed_

Lan closed his eyes and imagined Moiraine in front of him. She was smiling, her warm smile made him happy. He wanted her to smile more. She reached out her hand and dragged him with her, upstairs. She pulled him close and kissed him on the lips.

_As I dre__am about movies  
They won't make of me when I'm dead_

When he opened his eyes again, he was sure he would see her standing there. His heart fell, she wasn't with him. He ordered in yet another drink, and continued to watch the girl sing.

_With an iron cast fist I wake up  
And French kiss the morning  
Wh__ile some marching band keeps  
It's own beat in my head while we're talking_

Lan got mad, why did she leave him here? Why did she go alone? Was she going to meet someone she didn't want him to see? Was she going to see a man? Lan clenched his fists in anger. Why was he such a coward? Why couldn't he just tell her that he loved her?

_About all of the things  
That I long to believe  
About love and the truth  
And what you mean t__o me_

Lan tried to sense her through their bond, but she was too far away. He could only vaguely feel her being somewhere far south east of him. He couldn't tell anything about her health or wellbeing.

_And the truth is  
Baby you'__re all that I need_

Lan wished he was with her. To be close to her was all he wanted. He closed his eyes again. He envisioned Moiraine. Her dark hair, her beautiful eyes.

_I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails  
I want to be just as close as  
The holy ghost is  
And lay you__ down on a bed of roses_

He opened his eyes and looked at the girl who was singing, he pretended that she was Moiraine. He watched her lips move while she sang. Her hair swirl while she was moving.

_Well I'__m so far away  
That each step that I take is on my way home  
A king's ransom in dimes I'd give each night  
Just to see trough this payphone_

Lan squeezed the note that Moiraine had left to him before she left. He had been out training and when he came back she was gone. A quick note saying she had sailed to Cairhien.

_Still I run out of time  
Or it__'s hard to get through  
Till the bird on the wire  
Flies me back to you_

He had ran down to the harbor, but there were no ship going to Cairhien. He had thought of riding down, but she would most likely be home again before he reached the city.

_I'__ll just close my eyes  
And whisper baby blind love is true_

Lan drank more and watched the girl carefully, she really looked like Moiraine.

_I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails  
I want to be just as close as  
The holy ghost is  
And lay you down on a bed of roses_

Lan got up and asked the innkeeper who this girl who sang so beautifully was. He was told that her name was Tiana and that she lived in a room at the very inn.

_The hotel bar hangover whiskey'__s gone dry  
The barkeeper's wig's crooked  
And she's giving me the eye  
I might have said yeah  
But I laughed so hard I think I died_

Lan managed to get back into his seat, with some trouble but he succeeded.

_Now as you close your eyes  
Know I__'ll be thinking about you  
While my mistress she calls me  
To stand in her spotlight again_

_Tonight I won__'t be alone  
But you know that don't mean I'm not lonely  
I've got nothing to prove  
For it's you that I'd die to defend_

The girl stopped singing and yet again met his gaze, she smiled at him. She cme over to his table and sat down. Lan bought her, Tiana, a drink. She leaned over and kissed him, to the crowds' amusement. She took his hand and lead him upstairs as she hummed:

_I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails  
I want to be just as close as  
The holy ghost is  
And lay you down on a bed of roses_

_**A/N: "Bed of Roses" by Bon Jovi**_

_**Sitting here wasted and wounded  
At this old piano  
Trying hard to capture  
The moment this morning I don't know**_

'_**Cause a bottle of vodka's  
Still lodged in my head  
And some blond gave me nightmares  
I think that she's still in my bed**_

_**As I dream about movies  
They won't make of me when I'm dead**_

_**With an iron cast fist I wake up  
And French kiss the morning  
While some marching band keeps  
It's own beat in my head while we're talking**_

_**About all of the things  
That I long to believe  
About love and the truth  
And what you mean to me**_

_**And the truth is  
Baby you're all that I need**_

_**I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails  
I want to be just as close as  
The holy ghost is  
And lay you down on a bed of roses**_

_**Well I'm so far away  
That each step that I take is on my way home  
A king's ransom in dimes I'd give each night  
Just to see trough this payphone**_

_**Still I run out of time  
Or it's hard to get through  
Till the bird on the wire  
Flies me back to you**_

_**I'll just close my eyes  
And whisper baby blind love is true**_

_**I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails  
I want to be just as close as  
The holy ghost is  
And lay you down on a bed of roses**_

_**The hotel bar hangover whiskey's gone dry  
The barkeeper's wig's crooked  
And she's giving me the eye  
I might have said yeah  
But I laughed so hard I think I died**_

_**Now as you close your eyes  
Know I'll be thinking about you  
While my mistress she calls me  
To stand in her spotlight again**_

_**Tonight I won't be alone  
But you know that don't mean I'm not lonely  
I've got nothing to prove  
For it's you that I'd die to defend**_

_**I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails  
I want to be just as close as  
The holy ghost is  
And lay you down on a bed of roses**_


	7. Everything I Do

Title: Everything I do  
Rating: K+  
Pairing: Lan/Nynaeve  
A/N: I don't like this pairing, but I had to write this  
Summary: Is Lan really worth all the heartache?

Nynaeve was walking through the hallway, she was looking for Lan. Where could he be? She entered the dining hall and immediately spotted the stonehearted warder. He sat there eating with Moiraine close to his side. She felt a sting of jealousy. That woman was bonded and close to the man Nynaeve loved. She stood there watching Lan, her gaze trying to pierce his very soul.

_Look into my eyes - you will see  
What you mean to me  
Search your heart - search your soul  
And when you find me there you'll search no more_

Lan looked up and met her eye. He said something to Moiraine and then got up and walked towards Nynaeve. Nynaeve turned on her heels and walked aways, his long steps caught up with her easily.

_Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for  
You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you_

Nynaeve stopped when she got outside. She leaned on the wall and looked at Lan. He stood in front of her; she had to look up to meet his gaze. She hated that he was so much taller than her. He just stood there watching her, his ice blue eyes staring down at her. He didn't say a word and neither did her.

_Look into your heart - you will find  
There's nothin' there to hide  
Take me as I am - take my life  
I would give it all - I would sacrifice_

Nynaeve loved Lan with all her heart. She would do anything to be with him. Light burn that Sedai he was bonded with. She clenched her fists in anger. Lan reached out and took her hands in his. He looked down at her and smiled softly.

_Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you_

That was all that needed, Nynaeve felt the anger slip aside. She found this man stubborn, impossible, cold, jaded; yet handsome, strong, loyal…and someone else's. She should just leave. Try to forget this man that she could never have, there are plenty of other men around. They wouldn't be bonded with other women either, Nynaeve felt an urge to scream or run away and hide. Is this man really worth all this waiting?

_There's no love - like your love  
And no other - could give more love  
There's nowhere - unless you're there  
All the time - all the way_

Lan leaned in and gave her a light kiss on her lips, he then whispered in her ear: "I love you…"  
Then he let go of her hands and turned around to go back inside. Before he reached the gate he turned around and gave her a quick smile.

_Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you  
Walk the wire for you - yeah I'd die for you_

Oh yeah, he's defiantly worth waiting for. Nynave would wait until the end of the world, and if not sooner he would he hers. She purred happily to herself, in the end she would win.

_You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you_

_**A/N: "Everything I do (I do it for you)" by Bryan Adams**_

_**Look into my eyes - you will see  
What you mean to me  
Search your heart - search your soul  
And when you find me there you'll search no more**_

_**Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for  
You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you**_

_**Look into your heart - you will find  
There's nothin' there to hide  
Take me as I am - take my life  
I would give it all - I would sacrifice**_

_**Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you**_

_**There's no love - like your love  
And no other - could give more love  
There's nowhere - unless you're there  
All the time - all the way**_

_**Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you  
Walk the wire for you - yeah I'd die for you**_

_**You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you**_


End file.
